What Dr.’s appointments are like for me: the other day I went to a new doc office for the first time & I ate a salad on the way to my appointment that was 85% pure red onions and then decided, while waiting in the patient room, after demanding to know if my nurse could smell onions, (she said no but I know she lied), that I’d wash my hands to try and cut the onion smell by just a teeny slice. I then proceeded to get water on the Dr’s special rolling chair and thought OMG I can’t have that!! They are probably already wondering why in the hell the water is running in this room.. So, I decided to grab paper towels from a wall dispenser thing and the entire box came out of the wall, this was not quiet, it made so much racket! I don’t even know how the box Houdini’d out of the wall mount holder cause one thing was for certain, it wasn’t going back in. I was able to pick the fake lock thing that holds the box of paper towels and replace the box with minimal damage but this was not a quiet endeavor. They’ve got all kinds of low lighting and nice stuff going onnnnn, so tranquil…. and then there’s me… basically making train sounds emanate from my room. I start wiping off the seat that I splashed water on and then I can’t find a trash can except for a hole in the counter with a sign that says ‘linen only’ and I legit have to think for a second – paper is not linen, or is it?? BECAUSE WHY IS THERE NOT A TRASH CAN!?!??! Right?! so I shove the paper towels in my coat pocket that’s wadded up on a different chair. And then I see a drop of water I missed during my first go-around so I get busy on that & of course In the middle of doing the final dry, in comes the doc I’ve not yet met. He glances at my wad of paper towels sticking out of my coat & then at me, gently wiping his roller chair down for him while reeking of onions. I stick my hand out immediately to shake his hand, whew… that went SO WELL!!!!